Broken trust is one of the hardest things to repair. It can shake the very foundations of relationships and leave people feeling like they don’t know what to believe any more. When it happens in a marriage, it could even spell the end of things.
The bottom fell out of one guy’s world when he discovered his wife of nine years, and the mother of his child, had been cyberstalking his ex for the entirety of their relationship. Sick to his stomach and not sure what to do, he turned to netizens for advice.
More info: Reddit
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After his laptop battery gave up the ghost, he switched to his wife’s work tablet to check on some tax stuff
To his horror, he stumbled upon a secret Google drive packed to the brim with hundreds of pictures of his abusive ex
The pictures went back years and other people in the photos would be scribbled out or cropped to focus on the ex
Another folder contained pictures of the guy’s ex’s hair, and yet another was stuffed with screenshots of her comments on social media
There were also links to particular items of clothing and even a water bottle and hiking shoes he’d remembered his wife recently purchasing
Slowly the guy realized his wife had basically turned herself into his ex, stalking her to the point of copying her exact looks and interests
When he confronted her, she tried to play dumb but soon enough she was in tears and begging him not to leave her
The guy says the couple took a break but have finally made it to couples counselling and are also seeing different therapists
OP begins his story by telling the community that he met his wife nine years ago and that they hit it off immediately. He adds that he’d just got out of a toxic relationship with someone his wife was acquainted with (but not close to) and that he’d blocked her on all channels and cut off all contact.
He goes on to say that he and his wife got married after the pandemic, bought a house, and, after trying for some time, finally conceived and had a baby daughter.
OP admits that he thought he had the perfect life until last Monday, when, while using his wife’s work tablet to do some tax stuff, he discovered a secret Google account stuffed with hundreds of pictures of his abusive ex.
At this point, all the puzzle pieces started to fall into place for OP. He realized his wife had been dressing, shopping, and even wearing her hair like his ex. He also came to the unsettling conclusion that his wife’s interests were only the things his ex had been interested in, right down to her career. In short, his wife had turned herself into his ex.
Apparently, his wife had first started looking up his ex out of curiosity. Then things got out of control. She got addicted to the ‘game’ of finding new pics and, over time, started to mimic his ex because she’d “had” OP first.
Well, the couple took a break for a while, then finally made it to couples counseling in addition to seeing separate therapists. OP says his wife hasn’t been diagnosed by a psychiatrist yet but believes that she’s deeply insecure and possibly mentally ill, something he’s not prepared to walk away from.
OP says that he still doesn’t entirely trust her and is afraid she has another secret account somewhere, but at least the physical mimicking has stopped, and certain clothing has disappeared from her wardrobe.
From what OP tells us in his post, this seems like a case of cyberstalking with a twist. Not only was the person being stalked deceived (OP’s wife weaseled her way into her private IG account) but so was the stalker’s partner.
If you’ve ever had a perfect stranger suddenly liking and commenting on your posts or sliding into your DMs uninvited, you’ll know how unnerving it can be. So, what’s the law say about cyberstalking? And how can you protect yourself? We went looking for answers.
As technology evolves, so does cyberstalking. Recognizing this, lawmakers have introduced new bills to address emerging threats.
The bill aims to hold tech companies accountable for failing to remove intimate AI-generated deepfakes from their platforms. The bill mandates platforms to have a “reasonable process” for addressing such content, including its removal within 24 hours of reporting.
In her article for VeryWellMind, Sherri Gordon writes that, when it comes to preventing cyberstalking, it’s important that you take the necessary precautions to protect yourself online. The first step is to make sure your devices and online accounts are as secure as possible.
She adds that you should stay off public Wi-Fi and ensure you have the strongest privacy settings possible enabled. It’s also a good idea to disable your geolocation settings on photos and be cautious with online dating sites – never use your full name, for example.
So, when was the last time you Googled yourself? You might be alarmed at how much of your personal information is out there.
What would you have done if you’d found yourself in OP’s shoes? Do you think his wife deserves a second chance, or was her behavior straight up crazy? Let us know your opinion in the comments!
In the comments, readers seemed to agree that the guy’s wife must be incredibly insecure, while others shared some of their own brain-bending stalker stories
